Monday, April 22, 2013

The Video Trailer that Wasn’t


Now, I should probably preface this by saying that I’ve been writing fiction for going on fifteen years, and I’m only beginning to feel like I’m getting the hang of it. So I’m not sure why I figured: “Hey, I can totally film my own book trailer.” Because, you know, it’s not like people go to school for stuff like this, or spend years honing their craft. And not only that, I thought: “Hey, it would be totally cool to turn the dining room into a Western-themed Rube Goldberg, with different scenes for the different parts of Summer at Mustang Ridge.”

Note to self: Just because you managed to put together some better-than-average sales videos back when you were training and selling horses, that doesn’t mean you should try to tackle a project like this. And stop watching so many Mythbusters reruns.

Nevertheless, off I set on my “this totally counts as work” project, hitting Goodwill for cast off toys and fiddling with the build over the course of a few weeks. I got way too much help from Pixel T. Kitten, who became obsessed with fishing line and developed the habit of carrying all the little plastic trees into the bedroom and placing them on my head while I slept. In contrast, I got just the right amount of help from Arizona, who stayed out of the way until I was on the verge of a frustrated “HULK SMASH!” and then stepped in to tweak my design.

Here’s the plan: Pixel pulls on a string to set the first marble rolling along its way. The marble trips a pendulum that pulls a chock from beneath the little car, which rolls along (symbolizing Shelby’s arrival at the ranch) and bumps into the toy horse, which gets pulled along past the plastic cows by a weight disguised as a setting sun (Foster in loner mode). The horse triggers a fan, which makes a pinwheel spin, prodding marble #2 along its way and sending the cowboy and cowgirl sliding together for a kiss (romance!). And in the end, the book cover flips up to proudly advertise Summer at Mustang Ridge.

Sounds great, right? Except I could never actually get my Rube Goldberg to do all of those things in sequence. More often, the kitten would attack the string, get hung up on the tablecloth and pull everything askew. Or I would wind up the car too much and it would knock over the horse and rider and plow into the cows like some gruesome accident reconstruction. Or the sun would fall on the cows like something out of Armageddon. Or … or …

And where in my mind’s eye it had all played out with elegant simplicity, with chirpy background music—rather like the Honda ad, or the new Panera spot—in reality it all went way too fast for me and my cheap-o camera to follow, meaning that I missed most of the action, giving the video a Blair Witch Project feel and a whole lot of confusing visuals, and forcing me to conclude that Rube Goldberg Goes West (and the drawing-board sequel involving sex toys) would really require far more money and tech savvy than I’m willing to invest.

So here it is in all its questionable glory, done in still life because the moving parts were just too much for me to handle. Enjoy it. Laugh at it. And maybe give me a little credit for knowing when to cut my losses and focus on stuff I can actually manage to do halfway decently. Like writing.











Okay, are you done laughing at me? Not quite? How about now? LOL. Well, how about you share the misery—I’d love to hear about a project of yours that didn’t quite go how you had planned it! 

40 comments:

  1. Wow, I can't believe it didn't work, Jess! And yes...it TOTALLY counts as work! In the interest of full disclosure, I did the same thing with those "make your own movies" thingies. Hours of fun. Zero to show for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This makes me feel better, thanks. (Misery lurves company, and all that.) My accountant is going to love this write-off ...

      Delete
  2. No, I'm not done laughing, but only because once again Murphy has won and I'm not his only victim. It was a great idea in theory. Kind of like the "hey let's replace the toilet and while we're at it, the flooring." Which in turn led to a new vanity & sink and yet a 5th trip to Home Depot in 2 days, only to find out that the hose to the toilet is too short. Another trip to HD. Did the hubby listen to me when I called out that he should make sure all the hoses for the sink will work? No. He'll be making that trip tonight. Needless to say the thirty minute fix to lower the water bill has now turned into a 2-day project and it isn't over with yet...
    As for book trailer, I don't know who came up with the "brilliant" idea, but honestly, we're readers, we have great imaginations, we don't need the visual - the back of the book and the first few pages will work just fine.
    Thanks for the Monday morning laugh. My day is now complete. ;0)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, Gail! I got a snippet of your weekend adventure from your hubs on Facebook, and I was like "I thought they were going to fix the fence?" 'Nuff said, and oy on the repeat trips and extended project. Glad you enjoyed my video lameness. Figured I should get at least *some* mileage out of it!

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. *bows*

      (Except I totally just wrote that as *wobs*. Sigh. I might need to go plant bulbs or something rather than attempting to write today.)

      Delete
  4. All's not lost. Put those stills into an animated gif, girlfriend. Just sayin'. ;) A+ for ambition and creativity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Animated gif she says? Heck, I just mastered the concept of putting words on a still photo!! Though the sliding-heart-kiss thing might make a cool gif. Wonder how much time I could burn on that project whilst calling it work? :)

      Delete
  5. Best book trailer I've seen yet! Really! I'm like Gail, I don't really see the point (though I confess I was thrilled when Random House made me one for Once Tempted). Yours is way cooler.

    Thanks for making me laugh on a Monday, Jesse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm thinking of submitting it for Sundance Fails (if there isn't such a thing, there really should be). Happy you got a giggle, and, yeah, I think I'll leave this to the professionals in the future!

      Delete
  6. Ohh... you've been watching too much ELEMENTARY, seeing the show open, waaaay too often. :) :) Thanks for the laugh. Monday never seems to provide enough merriment to set off the blahs. Perhaps I'll return the favor :) - a video Derby party invitation made with Barbies and Breyers. You're gonna love it, or maybe be inspired for MUSTANG RANCH RIDES AGAIN: http://youtu.be/-pN0qkPldco

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG, love that video! Especially when the Barbies fall over in rapture as Mr. Mule comes in second. Brilliant!

      Delete
    2. That was a come-from-behind thriller of a finish. I also enjoyed BRING BOURBON (or a dish to share). :)

      Delete
    3. And 'no, we're not posting our address on Youtube' LOL!

      Delete
  7. Comment post try #4: No... I'm not laughing. Okay, I WAS laughing. That is, until I realized that I was re-engineering your Rube Goldberg in my head. Because I'm a geek like that.
    But I have to say, I was seeing your status updates about making a book trailer and thought "Wow. I wish I had the skill to make videos like that." And now I feel better about myself. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (Note to self, hit up Doc Jules next time. Or hit self over head with something solid until the impulse to try again goes away.) Glad to make you feel better-yep, totally don't have the skillz. Sending e-hug to fellow geek!

      Delete
    2. Hey - I didn't say that I was SUCCESSFULLY re-engineering your machine. And I'm just teasing about the skills. ;) Sending e-hug back. Geeks unite!

      Delete
    3. LOL! I bet your ideas would've outstripped some of mine. Like when I had this elaborate (and nonfunctional) pulley system rigged up so the car bumped into a lever, which released the weight to pull the cowboy along, and I was getting to the snippy-whiny-tears stage of frustration. Arizona stepped in and was like 'if you put a pencil in front of the horse, the car can knock it out of the way.' Sometimes you just need another pair of eyes!

      Delete
  8. Who needs a video? You have a MEME!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do? Should I kill it? Feed it? Put some ointment on it?

      Delete
  9. spread it! My son put one of my pix up at reddit or maybe imgur and its been viewed over 1 million times since he did. (unfortunately it has nothing to do with my books)

    ReplyDelete
  10. This had me laughing so loud my boss came and asked me what was so funny! Note to self: do not read blogs at work.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oops! Hope your boss has a sense of humor, Regina!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Jesse, oh please don't change a thing. It's a perfect trailer. And who in the world would do it "your" way? I went through it at least twice, and later, will again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Gail! Glad you enjoyed it :)

      Delete
  13. As a constantly evolving, learning the hard way, do-it-youselfer, I totally appreciate the level of effort that goes in to making something so simple so darn complicated that it has no hope of turning out well, LOL. My husband does a fabulous job on book trailers (he did the one for On Thin Ice and Savage Cinderella, while the somewhat lame but good first effort of the Heaven is for Heroes Powerpoint creation is all mine). The problem is always getting him to complete a project on my schedule...or any schedule for that matter.

    I finally decided to hire someone for the Waning Moon trailer, but was very disappointed in the finished product. I think trailers can be an effective marketing tool for YA more than any other genre since teens are visual-instant gratification types who spend lots of time on You Tube.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes! Why do something in one step when you can complicate it to five!

    Here's a link to PJ's trailers: http://circlepad.com/pjsharon/Youtube

    ReplyDelete
  15. LMAO!! that was great!! Hey at least you tried to do it, you had and idea and went with it!! Kudos to you!!! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Maggie. I had fun with it ... when I didn't want to do a Godzilla in Tokyo, that is. LOL!

      Delete
  16. LOL, that was great. Thanks so much for sharing. If you would like a video trailer using still shots I am more than happy to put one together for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, thanks so much for the offer, Jenn! If I can re-motivate, I may hit you up for that. Or I may wave the white flag on this project. We'll see. Muah on the offer, either way!

      Delete
  17. Just "watched" the trailer for a second time lololol still cracks me up- I particularly like the little herd of plastic cows behind the hero on his horse lol Like all art, the more you look at it, the more nuances you pick up lololol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yo! *bows* (And for the second time today, writes that as 'wobs'. Sigh. I'm such a wordsmith.)

      LOLOL on the 'art.' And, like much bad art, its concept far outstripped the artist's so-called skills!

      Delete
  18. I LOVE this! And I agree with Kate! Awesome meme! (And an even better story, but that's to be expected from you.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Virginia! Alas that the shirtless cowboy doesn't get to ride in video form. But the #hunkycowboy will ride again soon. Be warned!

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. LOL! Yeah, that was about what I was thinking as I got to the 'HULK SMASH' stage ;-)

      Delete
  20. LOLOLOLOL-OMG Jesse! WHERRRRRRRRRRE were you when I needed to do School projects??? I think this is just awesome-and actually a lot of thought went into it & a lot of work! Highly entertaining-I give you an A+ :P)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why, thank you, Cheryl! I'll take my A+ for effort, at least. Hopefully, there will be some baking soda volcanos and such in my future. I'll be sure to post the outtakes ;)

      Delete