Arizona (singing to himself as he putters around, collecting mountain bike parts off the living room floor): I been through the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to be out on the range ...
Me (slaps own forehead): Oh, wow. That makes so much more sense!
Arizona: 'Scuse me?
Me: My whole life, I thought the line was "it felt good to be out of the rain."
Arizona: Why would he be out of the rain if he's riding his horse?
Me: Because he's in the desert?
Arizona: It rains in the desert, you know. Sometimes.
Me: Maybe it's the dry season. Or he had an umbrella. But, yeah, that's why "out on the range" makes oodles more sense. Kind of like the lumpy white tights.
Arizona (pauses, like he's pretty sure he's going to regret asking): What lumpy white tights?
Me: You remember Def Leppard, right?
(Arizona and I are only a couple of years apart in age, and share many of our musical likes. Hair bands of the 80s are not one of them. Doc Jess = headbanger. Arizona = not so much. He also doesn't share my antipathy for the B-52s, while I don't act like I have a brain tumor when the radio plays Hotel California or Heard it Through the Grapevine.)
Arizona: *nods*
Me: Well they've got this song, Love Bites, that starts off with a whispered line that darn sure sounds like the lead singer is saying, "If you have lumpy white tights ... Watch out! Love ... Bites ..."
Arizona: Lumpy white tights? That's ... oddly specific.
Me: No kidding. And it was like he was inside my head, or saw the pictures from my fifth grade band concert or something. And he was singing just for me. Hey. I was thirteen, okay? Anyway, I sang it that way for the longest time, until one day I was studying the insert that came with my copy of the tape--the way you do when you're a squealing fangirl--and came across the actual lyrics. It was supposed to be "If you have love in your sights, watch out. Love bites."
Arizona: Meh. Boring.
Me: I know, right? At least the lumpy white tights make a girl think for a minute. Kind of like riding through the desert on a nameless horse, carrying an umbrella.
So what about you, ReaderFriends? What's your favorite misheard lyric?
Two classics -
ReplyDeleteRound Jon Virgin, one of Robin Hood's peripheral Merry Men, who we only sing about during the holidays. Perhaps Round Jon was on the B team because, as a family man, he wasn't available to go on the most famous adventures.
Jose, can you see? So charming to make sure little Jose can see at every sporting event. However, we shouldn't keep him up so late on school nights. Games that go through "dawn's early light" are just too long.
Roarrrring! I love this, as yours and Rene's both made me sit there for a second and go, "I know this song. It's ... hmmm...."
DeleteI find authority dull & always will. Really I do when they are boring stuffed shirts. But I'd never fight authority because authority always wins.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! I'll admit to singing this one phonetically, with no clue what it's supposed to say. I like your version, though!
DeleteThanks, Jesse. For me it's that Christmas carol with the line, "While shepherds washed their socks by night . . . . "
ReplyDeleteLOLOL! I'm totally singing it that way this holiday season. Thanks, I think ;)
DeleteThe misheard lyric that I love the most is probably not appropriate to write here. You remember my superpower? The ability to take the most innocent thing and make it dirty? Yeah. My superpower is in effect!
ReplyDeleteOkay, now I totally want to know what it is ...
Delete...there's a bathroom on the right... (er- a bad moon on the rise I know. LOOK ashamed!)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Love it!
DeleteI should see if you can guess what I thought they said. It's a song called "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge. The chorus says "Soft breath, beating heart." I thought it said something totally different.
DeleteUntil I read this I thought the lyric was "It felt good to be out of the rain" and I have sung it quite loud at times. I have fond memories of my America - time warp ahead - 8 track tape in my first car, a 69 Ford Fairlane, stuffed with friends, as we all sang the (wrong) lyrics at the top of voices. Ahh good times. And yes, the long hair, long coat wearing, bareback riding nomad carried an umbrella in my mind.
ReplyDelete