Monday, May 6, 2013

First Date Disasters





In honor of tomorrow’s release of SUNSET AT KEYHOLE CANYON (a Mustang Ridge e-novella), which is the story of a spunky boutique owner and a sexy surgeon reconnecting after a blind-date backfire, I want to dish about bad first dates.

I really haven’t had all that many first dates, but one stands out as Awkward. Back in college, there was ROTC Guy. A cousin of a friend, we had some decent yelling-over-loud-music-and-flat-beer conversation at a party, and he asked me out. We made plans, I drove the couple of hours to where he went to school ... and discovered that I was going out with his entire ROTC class. And while Pizza Hut and Spinal Tap can make for a perfectly cool first date, the presence of his twenty best friends didn’t exactly lend itself to romance. 

Lacking any really juicy stories of my own, I hit up Arizona, who was active on Match.com for seven-plus years before he sent me that first “Hey, what do you say we skip the twenty questions and write a story together instead?” 

(Note to guys: this is an excellent way to get the attention of a girl with “WriterChick” in her user name. Especially when you can write. The story--a pirate erotica peppered with in-jokes from Star Wars and Monty Python--will forever stay between the two of us, but darn, it was fun to write.)

He didn’t have any Crazy Psycho stories for me (his psycho meter is pretty good), but did allow that he’d had a couple of surprises along the way. Like the girl who wanted to go to a wine bar, then turned out to be underage (contrary to what she claimed in her profile). Or the woman who went for a pre-date spray tan and wound up an odd shade of orange, earning a whole lot of doubletakes when she came into the restaurant.

Mostly, our first date stories were of the “perfectly nice, but not right for me” variety. A few, though, were near misses. You know, the amazing first date that somehow doesn’t make it to a second. Mine was when my crush and I made plans for the following weekend, but I later realized I had a conflict. I called him and said it turned out I was busy, but maybe we could do some other time. I was thinking he would suggest another night. Instead, he said, “Okay, fine,” and hung up.

It wasn’t until like two weeks later that I realized he thought I was blowing him off. Yes, it’s true. I have no game.

Anyway, that’s closer to what happened between Nina and Ben in my new novella. They had a great first date, totally hit it off with sparks, fireworks and all that good stuff … but date number two doesn’t happen until a friend conspires to bring them back together for a week’s vacation at a picturesque Wyoming dude ranch.  

Want more? Read an excerpt or buy now.

Meanwhile, I have a feeling that there are probably some far worse first date disasters out there. So what’s yours??

16 comments:

  1. Okay... not quite a first date or it was a re-introduction first date. I got very drunk on very badly made Long Island Ice Teas and ended with the room spinning back at his room. Must not have ruined it. We've been married for over 30 years and counting. :)

    Can't wait to read the novella.

    Ann M.

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    1. Long Island Ice Teas, whether well or poorly made, are deadly, and have the power to make a girl do Foolish Things. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Yay for your 30 years! (Wow, really? WTG!)

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  2. I met a guy walking across the college campus one day. I was singing and he thought it was cute so he asked me for my number--I thought, what the hell! Turns out he was a law school student and we decided to go see the Nightmare Before Christmas. We then had hot chocolate at Denny's (classy I know). We didn't hold hands or have any other type of physical contact. He walks me back to my apartment and I know my roommates are home so I figure it is safe to invite him in. We're sitting on opposite ends of the couch--a good 4 feet apart--and talking about I don't remember what. Suddenly, out of the clear blue he asked, "So, do you want to kiss for awhile?" I was dumbfounded. There had been no coy glances or casual touches AT ALL, and he wanted to know if I wanted to start kissing? I was totally speechless (which you can tell by how much I've written is an unusual state for me). I just gaped at him. So then he says, "So, do you??" I shook my head no, we had some awkward conversation, and then he left. He called and called for a few weeks after that. I was distant but not mean. Finally I had to get mean for him to get the message. And that was that. :-)

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    1. LOLOL! Clearly, I'm not the only one who lacks game. My socially awkward self feels for him, but my chick self says "nope, wouldn't work for me, either!"

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  3. It got worse on one of his phone calls when he tried to tell me about the fantasy dream he had about me......I said, "I don't want to hear it!!!" He says, "But that's the type of thing everyone wants to hear." I said, "Nope, not me." He said, "Jodi, you're hard." I said, "No I'm not." He said, "Just for me?" and that's when I got mean, "Yes, just for you." Thankfully that was the last phone call....sheesh......

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    1. Hm. I was inclined to be sympathetic at first, but that one killed it for me. Sounds like somebody wasn't used to hearing 'no, thanks' or even 'bug off!'

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  4. I had a date with this really hot guy I wanted to date for ages. We went to a party and his pride and joy sports car got pushed through the house next door. He had it only two weeks and hit had to be total. Guess he thought I was bad luck, never heard from him again.

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    1. OMG, Marian! I feel bad for laughing, but it's one of those disbelieving sort of giggles. Can totally picture it. Guess it was the universe conspiring to make sure you met your Hottie Contractor when the time was right ;)

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  5. When I was about 19 my BF talked me into going out with a friend of her date's, so essential a blind date for me while we double dated. The guy was cute and all, and in the Marines. Things were going fine until he started talking about how he "couldn't wait to get into the field and start killing him some ragheads". OMG, I was so freaked and scared. I know he was a Marine, but none of the guys I'd known were excited about killing anyone. At the end of the night when he went to kiss me good night, I let him because I was afraid if I didn't he might lose it and I'd be his first victim.
    Needless to say, I didn't date any more Marines.
    The best first date was with Sailor Boy; probably why I married him ;0)

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    1. Eeek! Hello, super creepy! Glad it didn't put you off the military, though, as I'm fond of Sailor Boy :)

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  6. Bad first dates ... hmmm ... I think "first dates" often come with an almost insurmountable amount of expectations for everyday people to reach. That said, allow me to set the scene by saying where I grew up was a lot like Mayberry but with more farms and tobacco fields. Anyway, the guy who worked out at the town gas station asked me out. The only place we had to go on a date in Mayberry (besides the town pool hall/cafeteria) was the drive-in. He told me earlier in the evening that he'd had all his teeth pulled and wore fast teeth, then he wanted to make out. All I could think about was, would his dentures fall out? I couldn't get my mind off those freakin' dentures.

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    1. LOLOLOL! As an equally small-town girl, I can so picture it.

      So .... did they?

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    2. No. I was so worried they would I didn't give it my best effort. :)

      OMG - I just saw the typo in my comment! LOL!! "Fast teeth" instead of "false teeth." LOLOL!

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  7. See, I just figured that was a type of denture, like easy-in, easy-out, or a quick-release knot. LOL!

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  8. I don't have a first date story, but I'm loving reading everyone else's. I can't wait to read this books Jess!

    Peace and love,
    Paula R.

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    1. Thanks, Miss Paula! (Who was my on-speed-dial wing woman for several of my first dates :)

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