Arizona (singing to himself as he putters around, collecting mountain bike parts off the living room floor): I been through the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to be out on the range ...
Me (slaps own forehead): Oh, wow. That makes so much more sense!
Arizona: 'Scuse me?
Me: My whole life, I thought the line was "it felt good to be out of the rain."
Arizona: Why would he be out of the rain if he's riding his horse?
Me: Because he's in the desert?
Arizona: It rains in the desert, you know. Sometimes.
Me: Maybe it's the dry season. Or he had an umbrella. But, yeah, that's why "out on the range" makes oodles more sense. Kind of like the lumpy white tights.
Arizona (pauses, like he's pretty sure he's going to regret asking): What lumpy white tights?
Me: You remember Def Leppard, right?
(Arizona and I are only a couple of years apart in age, and share many of our musical likes. Hair bands of the 80s are not one of them. Doc Jess = headbanger. Arizona = not so much. He also doesn't share my antipathy for the B-52s, while I don't act like I have a brain tumor when the radio plays Hotel California or Heard it Through the Grapevine.)
Me: Well they've got this song, Love Bites, that starts off with a whispered line that darn sure sounds like the lead singer is saying, "If you have lumpy white tights ... Watch out! Love ... Bites ..."
Arizona: Lumpy white tights? That's ... oddly specific.
Me: No kidding. And it was like he was inside my head, or saw the pictures from my fifth grade band concert or something. And he was singing just for me. Hey. I was thirteen, okay? Anyway, I sang it that way for the longest time, until one day I was studying the insert that came with my copy of the tape--the way you do when you're a squealing fangirl--and came across the actual lyrics. It was supposed to be "If you have love in your sights, watch out. Love bites."
Arizona: Meh. Boring.
Me: I know, right? At least the lumpy white tights make a girl think for a minute. Kind of like riding through the desert on a nameless horse, carrying an umbrella.
So what about you, ReaderFriends? What's your favorite misheard lyric?