Monday, February 9, 2015

Holy Carp!


And yes, when I say 'carp,' I mean carp. Not like that one scientific journal article I got in for editing a year or so ago, where the authors had studied the genetics of a pathogen that affects Asian carp, but had an extreme typo moment somewhere along the way. 

Now, mind you, I speak English with some flair, but I can barely scramble my way through ordering a burger, asking for the bathroom, and announcing that I can't find my Mommy in French and Spanish. So I try really hard to give credit where it's due when my international clients write a technical article in a language that isn't their native tongue. But an entire article about commercial farming of "crap" as an important food source, and how to protect it from pathogens? Yeah. I got the giggles. Sue me.

And then there was that SNL skit many years ago, making fun of douche commercials--with all the waves-crashing-on-the-beach imagery, a pretty woman in a flowing white sundress, and a ponderous voiceover asking, "You know those days when you smell like a week-dead carp that's been baking out in the sun … ?"

So, yeah, as much as I love koi ponds and good Japanese-inspired tattoos, the word "carp" invariably hits me right in the funnies ... except when it's wrapped up in Latin to form that old cliche: Carpe Diem. Which I've been thinking about recently.

You see, over the past few years I've made a conscious effort to live in the moment and enjoy each day, rather than always looking forward, making plans and setting big, sweeping goals. Not that there's anything wrong with big goals! But the way I do them tends to stress me out and leave me always feeling like I'm running to catch up with the stuffed rabbit up ahead on the racetrack, and the stupid long-eared bugger is always moving on, out of reach. So I make goals, but I try to give myself permission to miss them now and then, and I remind myself to find something to like about even the crappiest (carpiest?) of days. 

However, I've recently discovered that this, too, has its pitfalls, because I've been so good about appreciating each day of the past few years, that I find myself comparing the now to the then, and getting stressed about how different our new reality suddenly looks. Lazy morning cuddles didn't used to involve a small person wanting to latch onto a boob with the gusto of a piranha; fooling around didn't used to require NATO-level strategic planning; and sleeping in used to be an actual option. And while these are all small things in the grand scheme, especially when compared to the awesomeness of having Wallaby in our lives, when you combine those small things with hormone poisoning and lack of sleep … well, let's just say that as much as I know that whining is neither attractive nor productive, the other night it seemed like the only way to go.

For a while, anyway. 

A very short while. 

Because even stressed and hormonal, I know darn well that I wouldn't change a thing about where I've been, where I am, or where I'm going. I love my big man (working downstairs now in his warm little cave), my little man (who just spit up on me, missing three burp cloths to nail my shirt with unerring accuracy, because he rocks), and the world I've built for myself. Maybe today doesn't look like this same date a year ago, but this time next year won't look the same, either. And that's a Very Good Thing.

So carpe the diem, ReaderFriends, even if it's Monday, the weather sucks (at least here in New England), and the cat barfed in your shoe and you didn't notice until you were halfway out the door. Today is a good day. And come nap time, there's a new book to write, a little at a time--ten minutes here, a hundred words there, until they all add up into the next story I want to tell!



Love, 

Jesse

10 comments:

  1. First, I love the picture. You and Wallaby are beautiful!

    Second, how many typos from hell are you creating as you write in your sleep deprived and hormonal state? hehe

    Third, Doc J you are an amazing woman and I am so incredibly blessed to know you. I know you make a great mother. It's okay to complain sometimes!! That's why you have a blog, right? ha!

    Have a great week! xo

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    1. Thanks, Stacy! Alas, the typos have been fairly limited of late, as I've been spending far more time staring at a single sentence and over-dissecting it. Once I get my speed back up, then the typos will flow!

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  2. Pointing, laughing, and warm fuzzy memories all at the same time. One question... How the hell did the cat miss Arizona's boat and barf in your shoe?

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  3. What a cutie! And all that glorious hair! Heartburn much? Grats and love!

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    1. Well, let's just say that Zantac was my friend for the last three months or so, which made more sense when one of the labor & delivery nurses suggested we could pull him out by the hair, there was that much of it--snicker. And thanks muchly for the grats and love!

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  4. Crazy hormones, no sleep, not enough sunlight, snow, cabin fever... I'm impressed you're writing anything. I feel for you. I had a Feb. baby who wouldn't sleep unless he was constantly held and screamed red-fisted in his car seat whenever we tried to leave the house (and could keep it up for 30+ minutes). Along with colic. I've got no advice beyond: set your bar really, really low for the next six months.

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    1. The bar setting is a reminder I know I'm going to need! You have my retroactive sympathies! Fortunately, Wallaby sleeps in his crib at night (though wants to be on a human being constantly during the day), likes the car, and winds down pretty quickly with the crying. So far, anyway. I'm quickly learning not to expect tomorrow to look anything like today!

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  5. I'm smiling, laughing, and crying all at the same time as I read this. Flashing back about five years to our rooming together at RWA and thinking how FAR you've come and how much has changed. being overwhelmed is part of being a new parent and it's totally natural to mourn the pre-baby "good ole days" when sleep was something you took for granted because it was always there and pulling an all nighter was about beating a deadline or testing out new positions for the next sex scene in your book:-) As different as life is today, though, five years down the road it'll all be different again when that little Wallaby goes off to school and you are watching the clock and feeling torn by your need to "get things done" while he's away and the ever-present knot that comes with having him out of your sight. Every stage comes with plusses and minuses, but in the grand scheme of things, every moment is precious. Hold onto that and enjoy the unfolding. Spit up and dirty diapers are a small price to pay and a short term annoyance for the big pay-off when one day, he will say to you..."Mom. You're the best."

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  6. Awwww....look at his little face!!

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