Smackdown: the Geico gecko versus the cavemen (aka ads you love to hate)

(From Summer at Mustang Ridge)

“Hello, ladies,” said a voice from behind them, making Shelby do a turn-and-tuck, so she was in front of her daughter.

The guy gained points by holding a soda rather than a beer, but lost them by having added another exclamation point to his name, so the tag on his purple rodeo shirt read: Howdy, my name is Brad!! Having gotten her attention, he leaned in too close to say, “I've got a confession to make—it's my first time. How about you?” An eyebrow wiggle lost him another point.

Not that Shelby was interested enough to add up the pluses and minuses, but keeping score was an occupational hazard, as was the propensity to turn everything into a slogan. Tired of being single? Try our new and improved Brad!! He comes complete with a one-bedroom condo, convertible and new caps. Ex wife sold separately.

She gave him a half-watt smile. “I've never been to a dude ranch before, if that's what you're asking… (more)

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In my new book (in stores tomorrow, YAY!), Shelby takes a sabbatical from her high-pressure city advertising job to work at the kitchen at Mustang Ridge Dude Ranch for the summer, hoping the animals and change of scenery will work magic on her painfully shy daughter. I had a ton of fun with all the slogans that run through Shelby’s head as she’s doing the fish-out-of-water thing, and it made me more aware of the advertisements that surround us on a daily basis … especially the annoying ones.

Now, I’m a fan of the Allstate Thanksgiving ad (Thirteen thousand people will deep fry a turkey this Thanksgiving. Three hundred of them will set their garages on fire …) and the “We’re Only Human” ads from Liberty Mutual (The song plays in the background as hapless humans chainsaw branches onto their neighbors’ cars and drive into the garage with bikes on the roof rack.). And who doesn’t love the Budweiser Clydesdales? (The 9/11 tribute chokes me right up.)

On the flip side, though, I will lunge for the remote so I can mute the annoying Jimmy Fallon and the Baby Who Says “No” commercials from Capitol One, and when Arizona sees the AT&T “Bigger is Better” commercials with school kids babbling nonsensically about infinity, the conversation goes something like this:

Him: Arrrrgh! Those kids are idiots. (Thus speaks the ex math teacher.)

Me: I think it’s scripted.

Him: I don’t think so. I think our civilization is doomed.

(And, really, what can a girl say to that?)

Me: Cookie?

So tell me … what ads (TV, print, billboards, whatever) do you love? Which ones drive you batty? I mean, I can’t be the only one who doesn’t find Maxwell the Geico pig all that funny.

Or am I?